It's another to leave out an entire decade! If you want a real relationship, then be real. When it comes to truth in advertising, it's one thing to shave a couple of years off. Don't post the online profile of Dorian Gray by showing off your shiny youth. Then create a profile that reflects who are you, what you want and includes recent photos. And, if you haven't already, try online dating, which is bringing new hope to those of us who don't have a ton of time or want to hang out at bars.Ĭheck out sites such as that can help you find long-term relationships versus flings or hookups. Focus on smaller parties, events centered on hobbies and interests, and volunteer opportunities. For example, if you like the outdoors, join a gay hiking or walking group, and meet men while you get fresh air and exercise. Get off of the sideline and get involved in your passions and interests. Yes, it's true that the Olympic-sized pool of dating prospects you swam in years ago seems like a lap lane when you reach your 50s. Pick your meet 'n' greet venues wiselyĭoes walking into a gay bar make you feel more out of place than Lady Gaga shopping for clothes at a mall? Think more about keeping a sparkle in your eyes and less on fighting the fine lines around them.ģ. That way, when someone touches you, they'll really feel you, and not a bundle of self-critical tension. Instead of trying to be 25 again, get comfortable in your skin.
Give up trying to be perfect, too, especially if that's a code word for "young." Yes, it's important to take care of your body and your health, but no need to obsess. Give up wishing you could turn back time. Your next romantic partner will benefit from all of that, and from your passions for the life that's in front of you.
Focus on what you've gained - rich experiences, accomplishments, survivor skills and wisdom. The truth is that you've earned your age. One is learning the rules the other has "been there, dated that" and wonders, "Now what?" It's daunting to consider starting over.
But what about the deeper, more mature love that allows for the wide spectrum of experience and truth? That's where you should set your sights.įor every 20-something entering the gay dating scene full of wide-eyed wonder, there's a 50-something (or a 60-, 70- or older-something) man back on the market after a relationship ends. Maybe you just stopped believing in the kind of naive love that you can only trust when you're young. If you think you're too old for love or you stopped believing that you can find someone to love who'll love you back, think again. And remember that the most important characteristics - loyalty, humor, intelligence and compassion - are ageless. Focus instead on being your best self, no matter what your age. Worried you aren't good-looking enough anymore? Who'd want you when there's some 30-year-old hottie turning everyone's heads at the gym? Don't even let yourself go there.